i believe in forgiveness. holding on to anger is only good for harming self. once it has been made clear what, if any, amends are going to be made, it is best to forgive. the person who hurt you does not know that you are still angry, and therefore your anger does little in the way of punishing them. the anger you hold inside, or vocalize, only serves to change your perceptions and attitude towards self and others.
to forgive, allows the self to move on. to release the anger and resentment, the regret, serves to allow you to be more present and authentic.
i cannot change you, or the past. i can change my thoughts and feelings.
sometimes, i have to forgive myself for disrespecting myself. i am working on that now. i am working on forgiving myself for disrespecting my body, and my spirit, and my inner voice. my ignoring my inner voice, i damaged myself. i am going to forgive myself, and i am going to repair the damage.
i am also working to forgive myself and another person for the destructive relationship we developed. i think that once i can forgive myself, i can forgive this person easier. plus, it’s most important that i take care of me. so- i forgive myself, and then others- all for the sake of taking care of me.
i dont want to die from taking on too much pain or regret. i think that forgiving is preventative medicine.
so each day, i work towards complete forgiveness. because i have more to do in life, and cannot let the past keep me from my future.
today, i write this as offering to myself. i am choosing to see this pain and dissapointment as something that i had to go through to get to here. that all that has happened, though hard, has made me more prepared and open for what follows.
i have never felt more open to being peaceful and happy. i believe that i have gone through a dark maze, only to arrive here more confident and trusting and loving of myself. i am for the first time, beginning to feel comfortable in my skin. i am not going to be in pain much more, before i am ready to smile from the deepest recess of my spirit.
and to those who were part of this dark time- i believe that you too have been transformed by this, and are closer than ever to finding your own sense of peace.
